I used to be horrible at remembering names. It’s always embarassing to meet someone 2 or even 3 times and have to ask their name every time.
When you forget someone’s name, we send them a message:
I don’t care about you. You’re not important.
People don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.
Before you attend an event where you’ll need to remember names, look into the mirror and say, “I am going to be suave.”
B stands for Believe.
- If you believe you can or if you believe you can’t, either way you’re right. – Henry Ford
- When you tell yourself you’re bad at remembering names, you are fighting for your limitations. And if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.
- You need powerful, positive beliefs to be able to do positive, powerful things in the world.
- All behavior is belief-driven.
In order to get any results in your life, you must do a behavior. In order to do that behavior, you need an empowering beliefs that allows you to do that behavior.
- Be conscious of your limiting beliefs, or as Dr. Daniel Amen calls them, your Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs).
- Remember that your brain is like a supercomputer, and your self-talk is the program it will run.
- If you tell yourself you can’t remember names, you won’t remember names because your program your supercomputer not to.
- Here’s an easy way to eliminate negative self-talk:
Add the word “yet” to the end of your sentence.
- I’m not good at remembering names…yet.
E stands for Exercise.
- The bad news is that remembering names is a skill, which takes effort and practice. The good news is that it doesn’t take as much as you think.
- Practice makes progress. Practice makes permanent.
- It will take about 30 to 60 days of practice to engrain any new habit, whether that’s driving or tying your shoes. It’s the same for this new way of remembering names.
- So practice!
- What you practice in private, you’re rewarded for in public.
S stands for Say it.
- When you say someone’s name, you get to hear it twice: once from the person and once from yourself.
- Saying the name also ensures you heard it correctly. You don’t want to have a 20-minute conversation with Ted and say goodbye to Ed. It’s better to be corrected upfront.
U stands for Use it.
- Use the name in conversation. Don’t abuse it!
- Say the name 3 or 4 times in the context of the conversation.
A stands for Ask.
- Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves.
- You can ask about a name because a name is the sweetest sound to a person’s ears.
- This is especially effective if it is a name you haven’t heard before.
- Sample Questions:
- How do you spell it?
- Who were you named after?
- Where is it from?
- What does it mean?
- I once did a training for a life insurance company. The training director’s name meant graceful falling waters. None of her coworkers – many of whom were her good friends and had attended her wedding – knew this about her name.
- You never know what you might learn.
V stands for Visualize.
- What I hear I forget. What I see I remember. What I do I understand. – Chinese proverb
- Most of us are better with faces than we are with names.
- If you tend to remember what you see, then try seeing what you want to remember.
- So if someone’s name is Mark, imagine putting a checkmark on their forehead.
- Does this seem childish? Children are the fastest learners on the planet because they are active, imaginative, and creative.
- Imagine Mike jumping onto the table and singing karaoke into a microphone. Imagine Mary holding two lambs underneath her arms. Imagine Carol singing Christmas carols.
- Your brain works off of reminders.
E stands for End It.
- When you end the conversation, say goodbye to the person by name.
- If you walk into a room and leave saying goodbye to 10 strangers, they’re all going to remember you.