How do you improve your self-esteem?
Confidence is all about trusting in yourself and your abilities. But it can be challenging to trust in yourself when you don’t believe in yourself.
Today, we’re excited to have back personal branding image expert and confidence catalyst Sandy Grigsby. She helps people discover their potential and unlock their inner confidence.
Listen in as we continue our conversation on how to build confidence and self-esteem. If you’ve ever felt that you are not enough or you’re struggling to meet the external expectations others have set, this episode is for you.
Get To The Root Cause
- Self-esteem is an issue for a lot of people.
- One of the most common things we hear when it comes to raising self-esteem is telling yourself: You are enough.
- But when you’re feeling really horrible, when nothing is working out, and you’re not where you want to be in life—the truth is you don’t feel like enough. So, this isn’t always helpful.
- The first thing you have to do is notice how you feel.
- Sandy talked about awareness in her last episode. You have to notice when you’re having these feelings.
- Next, create a list of all the things you’re actually afraid of.
- Your fears are closely tied to your feelings of inadequacy.
- When you know where these fears are coming from, you can change your view on them. You can change your outlook.
- But until you actually know what you’re really afraid of, it’s hard to come out of a place of feeling like you’re not enough.
- Most people think focusing on the negative or the fears is counterintuitive. Why not make a list of all the reasons you are enough?
- If you list your fears, you can find the root cause of them.
- Most people find this feeling of not being enough stems from childhood.
- Some situation or person made you feel small.
- But when you find that fear and the cause, you realize you were just a kid.
- You can change your outlook by confronting the truth of where this feeling comes from.
- Then you can ask yourself: is this true or not?
- If it is true, you can change it.
- And if it’s not true, then you can work to reset your thinking.
- By just focusing on sugar-coated statements but not figuring out where your fear and low confidence are coming from, you’re just putting a band-aid on it.
- You need to systematically heal the root cause and fix the wound.
All You Have To Do Is START
- Once you’re aware of your feelings, you’re ready to START doing something about them.
S is for Self-Care
- You start by taking care of yourself.
- Think of self-care like an oxygen mask on a plane.
- You have to put your mask on first, because if you don’t, you won’t be able to help anyone else.
- You have to take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you can’t do your job, take care of your family, or build better relationships.
- When you feel burnt out, overwhelmed, and fried, that all piles on to make you feel that you’re not good enough and that things won’t work out.
- Self-care is the most important thing.
- Remember: Self-love starts with self-care.
T is for Time Ownership
- You have to own your time.
- If you’re giving your time away like free candy, people are going to take it and come back asking for more.
- Stop giving your time away.
- Learn how to say no, set limits, and create boundaries.
- Time is what your life is made out of. If you give it away freely, what does that say about your self-worth?
- When you start taking care of yourself and valuing your time, your self-esteem and self-worth starts to go up.
A is for Action
- Take action.
- If you want to feel better about yourself, you can’t sit around telling yourself that you’re not enough or complain about not being good at something and not do something about it.
- You have to take action.
- Sandy loves to say that confidence comes with experience and not excuses.
- You only become confident with the experience you accumulate.
- When you do something enough times, you feel more confident about it.
- Sandy was terrified to learn how to drive a scooter in Bali.
- She was terrified and wouldn’t leave the driveway.
- It took her two weeks to get on a main road, three weeks to get on a highway, but now, she flies on that scooter.
- She has confidence because she has experience.
- Take action, get the experience, and then your confidence and self-esteem will go up.
R is for reset
- This means reset by getting up and moving your body.
- When you start feeling more empowered and confident, you gain momentum.
- But you need to reset your body by hydrating, stretching, mentally resetting, and moving your body—especially if you’ve been sitting for long periods of time.
- Resetting also includes getting good sleep and allowing your brain time to rest.
The final T is Total immersion
- Whatever it is you’re doing—starting a business, creating new content, building something, writing a book—totally immerse yourself in that project with no distractions.
- This is taking a deep dive into your project so you can give it your all.
- When you give something everything you have, you produce quality work, deliver excellent results, and build deeper connections and friendships.
- Your self-esteem naturally goes up and your confidence grows.
- You can start small.
- You don’t have to apply this to huge things.
- Take small steps. Just START.
Find Your Confidence
- Feelings are sign posts to show you that you need to take some kind of action.
- If you loved yourself, took care of yourself, and worked at optimal levels, think of the magic you could create on this planet.
- Think of how powerful that would be if every single person on the planet did the same.
- Lau Tzu said: “If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
- Everything we’re talked about when it comes to self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, it all starts with self.
- None of it can come from another person.
- Even when we’re talking about self-love and self-respect, no amount of love from someone else is going to be as fulfilling as when it comes from you.
- Know yourself, trust yourself, love yourself, and always be yourself.
- Just START.
- If you missed our previous episode with Sandy, be sure to listen, here.
- Be sure to check out the unedited, extended episode on YouTube, here.
- If you’re inspired, I want to invite you to join me in my brand NEW 7-day course, specifically designed to boost your confidence.
- I know it sounds too good to be true, but I give you step-by-step guides using the accelerated learning model to make you unstoppable in a short time.
- Visit kwikconfidence.com to join me today.
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