Unlearning Fear with the Limitless Model

DREAM KILLER

• People are stressed and afraid of what the future holds.
• I saw a quote recently that said “fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
• When something is threatening or perceived as scary or dark, it hijacks the part of our brain called the amygdala.
• When you are in fear, you are in a fight, flight, or freeze mode that keeps you from getting the most out of yourself, diminishing high performance.
• Fear keeps you from having the peace, positivity, and prosperity that you desire and deserve.

UNDERSTANDING FEAR

• Thank you to everyone who purchased the Limitless book; the royalties of the book went toward projects that helped to create a better life for others. Limitless appreciation.
• Contribution is the antidote to fear.
• I want you to superimpose the Limitless Model to fear.
• Our three-part framework of mindset, motivation, and methods can be used to describe a lens to reach your dreams, but also what holds you back.
• All fear and limits are learned.
• The only two natural fears that you are born with are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.
• Fear of public speaking, making mistakes, or looking bad are things that aren’t real.
• I encourage you to go back through our almost 200 episodes that can serve almost like a university for leveling up your learning and leveling up your life.
• Emotions are signposts or signals.
• Feeling fear, for example, is important because it keeps you from hurting yourself or doing dangerous things.
• When I was a student, I developed a fear of public speaking as a result of the learning challenges I faced from traumatic brain injury. Many of you know that I was called “the boy with the broken brain.”
• I believe my superpower while growing up was becoming invisible. I would sit behind the tall kid in class because I was afraid of being called on; I would shrink down because I never had the answers to anything.
• I would do a book report for extra credit to help me pass a class, but when the teacher would call me up to present, I would get so fearful that I could not breathe. I could not do it. Instead, I would lie to my teacher and say I did not complete the assignment and I would throw it in the trash after class. I felt like I was throwing away my potential.
• That is an example of a fear that is not real. There was no bodily harm that would come to me for giving the presentation. It was a fear that I learned because I could not read as a child. When they passed around the book in a reading circle, I would be so scared as the book would get closer to me. I believe I learned at that time that public speaking was dangerous because I felt so vulnerable.
• Fear is something that feels very real to anyone that has experienced it.
• My goal with this conversation is to give you options so you can make good decisions and understand that fear is learned. If you feel like fear is holding you back, you have a choice.
• In my book, I quote a French philosopher that said, “Life is the C between B and D.” B is birth, D is death, and C is choice.
• When we experience fear, we always have a choice to move forward, say yes, or take risks.
• I want you to have choices and flexibility whenever you feel scared, fearful, or limited.
• What is something that you have as a fear that might be irrational? For me, again, that was public speaking because it could not cause me any real physical harm or danger.

MINDSET, MOTIVATION, & METHODS

• I’m going to show you how to use the Limitless Model to get over your fear.
• Imagine an area of your life where you have a high level of angst. It is keeping you in a box because you cannot progress.
• You may be self-sabotaging, have fear of success or the unknown, or have a fear of failure. You could be procrastinating and putting something off without reason. Maybe you don’t feel confident because you don’t have a specific set of skills.
• Imagine you are trapped in a three-dimensional box. The three forces that keep you in that box are the same three that will get you out: your mindset, your motivation, and your methods.
• The first circle in the Limitless Model is mindset. Your mindset, in the book, is the seven L.I.E.S to your personal growth and learning. A L.I.E is a limited idea entertained.
• Some fears include: making mistakes, failing, and the criticism of others. Find more in my book, Limitless, here.
• If you feel fear, I encourage you to try anything three times. Number one is to get over the fear. Number two is to get good at it. Number three is to see if you enjoyed it or not.
• When you think about the end of your life, there is not a lot of room for possessions in your coffin, but there is definitely not a lot of space in there for regret.
• Many people feel that they mitigated their life because they never pursued a relationship out of fear of what others thought, or they pursued a career that was expected of them because they were afraid of standing up to their parents.
• My point in bringing this out is so you can extrapolate this and see how the Limitless Model applies towards any kind of progress in your life.
• Limitless is not about being perfect, it’s about advancing beyond what you think is possible.
• The second circle is motivation. The formula for motivation is P x E x S3.
• P stands for purpose. E stands for energy. S3 stands for small, simple steps.
• To get over your fear is too often having a greater purpose. Make your dreams or why bigger than your fears.
• I have an acquaintance who was living an unhealthy lifestyle and was not making a change. He ended up having a heart attack and bypass surgery, but that still was not enough fear to change his challenges. One day I saw him in picture-perfect health from improving his diet and quitting smoking and asked him why he finally changed. He said he found his purpose. When he came home from a business trip one time he found his daughter crying hysterically because she had a nightmare that he passed away and was not able to be there for her. Being healthy and alive to be there for his daughter became his purpose for changing.
• You need to find a purpose that is bigger than your fear.
• The E is energy. We know that fatigue and exhaustion can make anyone more fearful. A quote by General Patton says, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”
• When you are exhausted, stressed, or lacking sleep you become more susceptible to things that can negatively affect you.
• Optimize your energy because just having energy can give you courage.
• S3 is small, simple steps.
• When I was fearful of public speaking, I broke it down into small, simple steps. I broke it down into bite-sized pieces.
• Instead of speaking to an audience of 10k, I began speaking in front of 8 kids from second grade. It was still scary, but it was smaller and more manageable.
• Ask yourself: What is the tiniest action that I could take right now towards this goal where I cannot fail? It has to be so small that you are no longer afraid or the fear is so small, you will still follow through with it.
• “Inch by inch it’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s too hard.” – John Bytheway
• Kwik Review: Find a big enough purpose. Optimize your energy. Break it down into small, simple steps.
• The third circle is for the methods. When it comes to fear, it can be a signpost that you are not prepared and you need to get ready.
• Methods are the strategies that you are using. Psychologists refer to it as the competence-confidence loop. It suggests that the more competent you become at something, the more confident you will become. As you become more confident, you will do the thing more, get better, and become more competent.
• Where can you upgrade your methods?
• The biggest mistake people make is they downgrade their dreams to meet their current situation. Instead upgrade your mindset, motivation, methods you are using to meet your destiny.
• This is just another method of how limits are learned and it even applies to things like fear.
• Break it down into mindset, motivation, or methods — it could even be a combination of 2 or 3.

REGRET IS SCARIER

• Life is not so much about being fearless, it’s about moving forward despite our fears.
• Often the treasure you seek is hidden in the work that you are avoiding or scared to take on. Sometimes the work that you are most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.
• I believe that consistent, intelligent action, especially when you don’t feel like doing it, cures almost everything including the fear itself.
• There is this quote from the movie, called We Bought a Zoo, which says, “Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage; I promise you something great will come of it.”
• What can you do right now? Go through Limitless and the process of unlimiting those L.I.E.S. remembering that “If failure is not an option then neither is success.” (Quote from Seth Godin). Tap into your purpose. Optimize your energy. Break it down into small, simple steps that are not intimidating. Upgrade your methods because your competence leads to confidence.
• I believe that creating the life you want can be scary, but regret is scarier.
• One day we will be taking our final breaths and no one else’s opinions will have mattered. What will matter is how we loved, how we learned, how we laughed, and how we lived.
• Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings.

SHARE WITH US

• Take a screenshot of this episode, tag me on social media (@JimKwik), and share your greatest “aha!” moment from this episode with us.
• One of the fastest ways to learn something is to teach it to someone else. It gives you courage.
• We all need people to encourage us. If you have not found that person in your life, I hope I can be that person for you when you listen to our podcast, but also be that person for someone else, especially for yourself.
• Get my book, Limitless, here.