How do you end negative self-talk?The goal isn't to stop your negative self-talk completely. A little criticism is good because it gives you a reality check and motivates you to be a better person.But there's a big difference between "I need to read more" and "I'm not that smart."Studies show that negative self-talk is associated with higher levels of stress and depression.
Two Things Not to Do With Your Self-Talk:
Don’t fight it.
- The more you tell yourself not to do something, the more likely it is you’ll do it.
- If I tell you not to think of a big purple giraffe, that’s what you’ll see in front of you.
- What you resist, persists.
Don’t fight for it.
- A lot of people fight for their limitations, constantly talking about how they can’t remember names or are overloaded.
- If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.
Years ago, I was reading a book about the psychology of running a marathon. In one chapter, it said verbatim:
- Your brain is like a supercomputer, and your self-talk is the program it will run.
If you tell yourself you’re not good at remembering names, you won’t remember the name of the next person you meet because you programmed your super-computer not to.So how do you stop beating yourself up and replace this negative self-talk?Use the magic phrase: Abracadabra.
- Abracabra derives from an Aramaic phrase that means, “I create as I speak.”
- In Hebrew, it translates to, “It came to pass as it was spoken.”
To fight your self-talk, just remember ABRA.
A stands for Acknowledge.
- Acknowledge that your self-talk is there.
- Don’t resist it because what you resist, persists.
B stands for Breathe.
- Controlled breathing keeps your mind and body functioning at their best. It also lowers your blood pressure, promotes feelings of calm and relaxation, and helps you to de-stress.
- Breathe in what you want…
R stands for Release.
- Release what you do not want.
- You can’t lead a positive life with a negative mind.
- Exhale that breath out and let go of the limitations, the hurt, and the helplessness.
A stands for Align.
- Use your imagination to create a new phrase or belief that is more aligned with who you are and what you really want
- I have a great memory. I learn things quickly and easily. My focus is my gift. I really do have a ‘kwik brain.’
- You can’t just say it. You really want to experience it. You must step into this new belief and see how it really feels.